Today I Ran

Today I ran. There weren’t any zombies or rabid pit bulls chasing me either, so this is a pretty impressive feat.

I should probably preface this by saying that I am 38 years old and I am a walker. I have never enjoyed running. In fact, I’ve pretty much hated it. It always made my ankles hurt. Even more now that I’m very overweight. I’ve been known to say I don’t see the point in running and that while it is a good cardio workout, it is terrible on the joints, so why do people do it?

Now I think I am beginning to understand why.

I began my walk by heading towards my old neighborhood, which is not quite a mile away from where we currently live. This is the neighborhood that my son spent most of his childhood in. My son, now 18 years old, with big dreams. My son, who used to step off the school bus and tell me every detail of his day, including any trouble he got into. My son, who made an amazing welcome home poster when I brought his baby sister home for the first time. My son, who once had to write about his hero for school and chose me, when all the other kids picked sports figures and such. My son, who just 3 years ago “swam” down our driveway when we got almost 3 feet of snow. My son, who has struggled (as I have also struggled) with anxiety and depression. My son, who used to cut himself, and speak of suicidal thoughts. My son, who came home the other day and told me he is moving across the country with his friend…next week.

I know that all parents worry about their children, especially when their children go out on their own. But being who we are, me with a history of extreme anxiety and panic attacks and my boy with a tentatively diagnosed Bipolar disorder with anxiety and (past) psychotic episodes, I know that I will worry more than most.

I want to trust that this is the right decision for him. I know it is important for young adults to be allowed their independence. I understand why he wants to go. To make a new start is a big leap and I’m proud he is not letting his anxiety rule his life. Getting away from his friends here is important, since their habits influence him too much. It is too easy for him to sit with them and smoke weed and not really make a life for himself. But he has the hunger for more than that. It’s a noble cause really, moving away from here. I just wish it wasn’t so far.

And so my thoughts spun around and around while I walked. And then I ran. Not far, just a block. Caught my breath, walked a bit, then ran again. Walk, run, walk, run, all the way home. And it was kind of awesome.

Why did I run? Because if I’m running, I can’t cry. I don’t physically have enough breath to do both at the same time. I have to focus on the ground in front of me, so I don’t fall flat on my face. So much concentration was required of me to perform what many people do on a regular basis. Is everyone running from their sadness, their fear, their worries?

I think, perhaps, everyone has their own reasons. Some want a quicker workout, others are adrenaline junkies, and maybe others are like me, trying to run away from what’s hurting. In any case, I think this might become a thing for me. I can certainly use the exercise. 🙂

Moving Forward

One of these days I am going to learn how use this blog to it’s fullest extent.  Today is not that day.  I was just pondering that part of the reason why I haven’t blogged more is that learning how to use all the gadgets is a little intimidating.  This will be a project to add to my growing list.  There must be videos and other help somewhere, right?

In fact, I have A LOT of webinars to watch and podcasts to listen to at the moment.

When I started massage school. I anticipated just working for someone where I could be an employee.  Now that I’m here, fully licensed and ready to go, I find myself beginning an independent contracting job on September 1st.  And I’m already planning to have my own space come January.  So I need to learn about business, and websites, and blogging, and marketing….the list goes on.

Tomorrow night my son will be hanging out with friends and my daughter is going out with my husband.  I plan to spend tomorrow night(yes, Saturday!) watching a webinar on how to set up my own website and then doing it.  Then if I have time, I’ll listen to some marketing podcasts.  I’m actually really excited to get this business in motion.

I don’t know if this falls under being a “weird mom”, but it’s where my head is at today.

Long Time No Post

So it has been awhile.  Life got away from me.  I have a part time job in a Chiropractic office (doing billing).  We moved back in September and I’m loving that the new place has room for our veggie garden.  I just graduated on Friday and already took my state exam so soon I’ll be a licensed massage therapist!  I’m sure I missed a ton of great things to tell you about, but it’s all summed up like this – I am so happy to be at this point.  Grateful for everything in my life right now.  And hoping that I can now take more time to write and share my experiences with others.  

Welcome to Weird!

Hi Everyone!  I am a 35 year old wife and mother of two with an assortment of (what some may consider strange) hobbies and interests.  Currently a Massage Therapy student, I teach recycled art classes at the local libraries on a part time basis.  I like to hula hoop, read, do almost any type of art or crafts, LARP, cook and bake, and any number of other ecletic things.   I have wanted to start a blog for awhile and couldn’t decide what I wanted to blog about most.  Tales of a Weird Mom is my opportunity to blog whatever I want and I hope everyone enjoys my weirdness as much as I do!